thechamberofsecrets:

white lips, pale face, choking on my toothpaste

hishonourabletyranny:

fushimichi:

ive been laughing for like 50 years at this

she did it boys

she found it

(Source: jaehyomo)

biowjob:

biowjob:

i tried to catch some fog

i mist

weirdteenblogger:

on a scale of one to cody simpson how rejected do you feel 

snapchatting:

my life would probably get 2 notes

sherwat:

chrissykilljoybitchtits:

inc-omparable:

im-fandoomed:

hitlervevo:

why the fuck cant we text the police

lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you

Here in Canada you can

Here in England we just… scream and run

Here in Scotland we paint our faces and run towards the murderer

Here in Australia you are the murderer

londoniers:

once my sister was eating pop rocks on my bed and spilled some but forgot to clean it up and apparently some pop rocks got on my pillow bc in the middle of the night i happened to drool and i swear to fucking god there is nothing more terrifying than having pop rocks exploding all up in your face when you are asleep 

serpenscape:

Hey, you.

Yeah, you, the person who looks incredibly bored. Yeah, you. I’m talking to you.

You have really nice eyes.

I like your smile, too, because it means you’re happy, and I like it when you’re happy.

Now keep on scrolling because this is really embarrassing for me, okay?

queenofslash:

so we were talking about sexism in maths and i sit on a table with all boys, and i said “you know women could all agree to stop having sex with men and essentially stop the human race” and this one boy goes “well boys could all agree to stop having sex with women and-” but this other boy cut him off like “yeah dude that ain’t gonna happen” and i died